No Regrets
by AyaseEricchii
Summary: Whatever happened and whatever happens next.. I regret nothing as long as I'm beside you. There is nothing to regret as long as we have each other. They may think badly of us. We may never face them again. We may never live the same, but you were... You are the best thing that ever happened to me. That is why I have no regrets.
1. Chapter 1: No Regrets

**A/N: ****Before anything else, I would like to greet my sister who's birthday is on the 25th. Happy birthday to you! I love you O3O~***

**The 5th Chapter from Eri's School Idol Diary, ここだけの話 ****or roughly translated as A Talk Between Ourselves, gave me this idea.. Even though I don't understand Japanese that much, my sister and I roughly translated that chapter since it was filled with interactions between Eri and Umi. What we read there is what gave me an idea to do this fic.**

**I've been trying to do angst~ and I'm trying to create more detailed fics than my old fluffy ones... but this is probably the first time that I would be writing something of the more mature category.**

**Wasn't planning to rush this... but EriUmi's duet just fit so well with this so I wanted to release this one with the full version of their song. I really hope you guys would like this.**

**Since it was Eri's diary that inspired me, I tried sticking with her point of view. This was a really hard feat for me since sticking with her POV would mean that I would have to write in a first person POV pattern. It would be like I'm the one saying it O/u/Q **

**With the help of a few other M fics I read... I was able to write this. Thanks to some good writers there like reflection-of-nothing, signbear and Satsuki Takahashi. Your work really helped me visualize stuff and taught me how to go about it.**

**よろしくおねがいします！**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Love Live.**

* * *

**No Regrets**

Summary: Whatever happened and whatever happens next.. I regret nothing as long as I'm beside you. There is nothing to regret as long as we have each other. They may think badly of us. We may never face them again. We may never live the same, but you were... You are the best thing that ever happened to me. That is why I have no regrets.

* * *

Gasp. That is only thing I could do as the tables were turned. I shuddered from her touch and tried struggling from her hold again.

"Eri~" She softly whispered near my ear. I shuddered from the sensation I felt from it. She wasn't satisfied that her breath tickled me. She licked my ear and placed a kiss on it. I had enough of her teasing so I pulled her into a kiss.  
"I love you." I told her before we kissed. I nibbled on Umi's bottom lip and she gave me entrance. I tried asserting dominance by exploring her mouth but she wouldn't let me and fought back. Our tongues danced to each other's rhythm.

After a few seconds, which felt like forever, we finally separated from each other with a string of saliva still connecting us. Still breathing heavily from the previous kiss, she immediately started proceeding towards my nape. She attacked the spots that I'm overly sensitive with and gave them extra attention. She repeatedly switched between whispering "I love you." and giving my body kisses, licks and nips. The light touches I was receiving all over my body was too much for me to handle. I writhed at her touch.

I felt like I was about to melt as she hungrily stared at me. I was mesmerized by her tantalizing eyes─ a pair of beautiful quartz.

* * *

"Do you regret it?" '_No..._'

* * *

It was almost dinnertime when I received that message. I immediately replied and said no. Every time I see that question, I craved for her. I didn't understand what was going on inside my mind but I always craved for her touch. I went behind the counter where that blue-haired beauty was cooking for dinner.

"Umi?" I murmured as I slowly inched forward. She only hummed in response because she was busy preparing our food. I grimaced at her. I knew that she was busy with dinner and she hummed to show that she acknowledged my presence, but I wasn't satisfied with it.

I decided on teasing Umi to get some of her attention. I wrapped my arms around her waist and embraced her from behind. I started rubbing my face on her luscious hair and took a whiff of her refreshing scent of sakura flowers with a mix of green tea. Her scent always helped me relax. I was getting addicted to the feeling it gives me, like some sort of drugs.

"Eri, stop. I'm preparing dinner." Umi muttered as she continued on ignoring me. I couldn't help but tease her more so I kissed on the skin in front of me as I buried myself further on the angle of her neck where the scent was strongest.

"Can't I just skip to my dessert?" I mumbled as I kissed Umi's weak point at her neck before taking a bite.  
"Ah... Eri. Stop... Or you'll regret it... Stop..." Umi pleaded between pants. I smirked at her statement. She's just making me crave for her more.  
"I won't have any regrets when it's about you." I continued on sucking and nipping a sensitive spot on her neck. I felt her shudder in my embrace.

I was so concentrated in making her feel good that I didn't notice.  
"Eri..." She uttered before she suddenly pushed me. I lost my balance and ended up falling on the floorboard.

"Ouch..." I was about to stand up but a sudden weight prevented me in doing so. I looked up to see Umi straddling me.  
"U-Umi?!" I was shocked. I thought that she was going to scold me and continue on making dinner. I tried to struggle since I never liked complying with others. She was holding my wrist to prevent me from defying her. She held my wrists above my head and started unbuttoning my shirt.

"I'll make it so that you would regret tempting me." Umi stated before she proceeded on leaving a trail of kisses from the base of my neck up to my ears. My struggle went in vain because I was losing my strength from the bombard of kisses I was receiving.

I was squirming and panting hard from her touch but I still managed to tell her. I wanted her to know. I needed her to know.  
"I won't... I will... Aah... never... regret anything... Nnnnh... about you." I gasped at each kiss. I couldn't contain myself. Her soft lips touching my skin felt so magical. It felt so right. Like we were destined from the start.

* * *

"Do you have any regrets? Don't you think that it's wrong?" '_I have none. There is nothing wrong with it or with us._'

* * *

I lazily stared at a pair of brown jewels shining brightly through hazy eyes. I watched as the jewels slowly darken from its original color. I realized that they were Umi's eyes clouded with lust. They're so pretty. I felt blessed being in her presence─ being loved by this woman. I feel lucky having my love reciprocated. I wanted to caress that perfection of a face.

"Umi... Please... Haah..." I pleaded while struggling from her hold, "I want to touch you..."  
"Don't run away." She warned me before letting go of my hands. We shared a hot searing kiss. She stripped me of my shirt. As I was fiddling with hers and trying to strip it off her, she took the only fabric left that covered my breasts off.

I don't know why but I suddenly felt embarrassed about being exposed and how she was staring at me in a calculative manner. I felt like she was trying to read my mind. Feeling abashed, I clumsily covered myself using my arms and tried obstructing her view.

"Don't hide yourself." Umi scolded. She took a hold my arms and said, "You're so beautiful..."  
The redness of my cheeks might be able to rival a certain redhead's hair because Umi suddenly chuckled and said, "Don't be embarrassed.", before we shared a light kiss. She then continued on a trail until she stop right above my breasts.

"U-Umi..." I was about to ask her what's wrong when she suddenly continued on with a new fervor. The way she moved her hands on one of my breasts, while she covered the other with saliva and marks, took my breath away. I grabbed a fistful of cloth from her shirt, gasping and moaning under her touch.

I could feel my body burn hotly as Umi lavishly gave attention to my body, letting her hand roam on every exposed skin she could find or randomly placing kisses and marks all over it.

* * *

"Do you regret loving her?" '_I don't.._'

* * *

The chances of making it big in the entertainment industry was dwindling but we did not let that affect us. What broke us apart was a conflict inside the group that none of us had expected. It was something so complicated that it threw everyone off-guard. Everything was a mess that everyone was slowly starting to drift away from each other. The only way out of it was to give them up or to give her up.

Our days as idols were long gone. Umi and I are currently living in our own home near the seaside. We could hear the rattling from the railroad every time a train passes by. I worked at a local establishment as a helper while Umi took care of the things at home. She had wanted to also look for a job to help with the expenses but I told her that she was already a big help at home. She even grew a small vegetable garden to lessen our food expenses.

We lived a happy and simple life. Most of our days are spent on simple stuff. We cherished the time we spend with each other. There should be nothing I could ask more than my life with my beloved, Umi, but there were times that I felt that something was missing.

Beep. Beep.

'_A message?_' I thought while looking at my phone vibrating and beeping. I glanced at the screen and read the sender's name, "Maki".

I somehow knew what kind of message she sent but I still continued on reading it. It came with the usual greetings and questions on how we were doing. She shared some of stories of her own. Most of them were about Nico or the blooming relationship between them. She attached a photo of them with Nico's siblings. It has been a long time since I have seen any of them and all of them have changed a lot. With every message she sends, comes with the dreaded question that I have already expected from the start.

"Do you have any regrets?"

* * *

"Don't you regret anything?" '_No! I don't! __Stop!_'

* * *

'_Hot. It's too hot._' I thought as Umi continued to shower me with kisses, licks and bites. When she was satisfied with her work, she started heading further down and leaving a trail of saliva in her wake. She immediately unbuttoned my pants and was about to pull it down when I interrupted her.

"I-It's unfair... I'm the only one naked. Y-You should undress too." I puffed my cheeks. It was already bothering me that she was having her way with me and not the other way around. Umi blushed at my request but she still started stripping. I also stripped my pants off but left my underwear on. I stared at her flushed face.

'_Such a cutie._' I grinned at her cuteness, though I got confused when she suddenly chuckled.

"Wh-Why are you laughing?" Sitting up, I pouted in confusion. I knew my eyebrows were starting to meet each other but I couldn't help but feel a bit irritated because it looked like she was making fun of me.

I watch her chuckle as she continued on taking her clothes off. I couldn't help but blush when her underwear was the only thing left covering her luscious body.  
"You are such a child. Happy now?" She sported a teasing look. Umi was smirking and her eyes were glinting. I wanted to prove her wrong so I grabbed both of her cheeks and pulled her towards me. I gave her a kiss and tried to assert dominance.

She must have been expecting it since Umi just hummed happily and placed her hands on my shoulders. It was infuriating that I was bending to her wishes so I took a step further and grasped her breast. When she moaned, I didn't waste the chance and invaded her mouth with my tongue. Kisses are one of my favorites that we share with each other.

I was too concentrated on kissing her that I didn't notice. Without any prior notice, Umi's hands already traveled south. I gasped at her sudden action. I groaned into her mouth when she trailed a finger on the fabric protecting the juncture between my thighs.

She separated from me and left a soft kiss on my lips before whispering, "You're wet.", sending another wave of arousal. She took off the only cloth left clinging on my body and stared at me. It made me felt conscious but I endured it.

I didn't know that it was still possible but I saw her eyes darken further with lust. We shared another kiss rougher than before, trying to make out the passion we felt for each other. I could feel her fingers teasing the muscle on my inner thigh near the entrance of my nether region, but she would always stop short. She would stroke it from time to time and let her light touches linger.

"Mmmnnh... U-Umi... Haah. Stop t-teasing me... P-Please..." I whimpered and tightly gripped on her shoulders, but not enough to leave a mark. I could feel a painful ache settling down there. It really irks me how she can easily drive me insane with carnal desire. I could see Umi smirk.

"Since you begged for it..." Without any warning, she inserted her slender finger inside me. I inhaled sharply and arched my back from the sudden intrusion. While she was keeping a steady rhythm, I clumsily took off her remaining clothes. I helped myself with the treat in front of me and gave them some of my love.

I moaned Umi's name repeatedly as she increased her pace and added another digit. I could feel something building up. I was already at my limit.  
"U-Umi! I-I'm..! Mmnnnh!" I lost to the immense pleasure and felt a gush of liquid flow out from my nether region.

"Tsk, tsk. Eri, you made such a mess." Umi raised her fingers coated with my fluid. She then licked her fingers clean, giving me another wave of arousal.  
"Let me help you clean up." Umi bent down which alarmed me. I felt really flustered so I tried to close my legs, but Umi was holding them down to keep me exposed.

"W-Wait, Umi! I-I just─!" I gasped when I felt a wet muscle slide through my opening.  
"U-Umi! Aaah!" I mewled out Umi's name as I raked my hands through Umi's hair. I was already sensitive since I just reached my limit earlier.

"Eri... You smell so good." Umi's breath fanning down there didn't help with the heat that was building up. My body burned hotly and my mind was in a haywire.  
"S-Stop... U-Umi... Haah..." My fingers curled as I felt Umi lapped the flowing liquid. I occasionally whimpered whenever she bumped on a certain sensitive bud.

When she thrust her tongue in, the sensation became too much for me. I could feel myself tighten around Umi's wet muscle and my body convulsed in extreme pleasure. I was heaving from exhaustion but I didn't want it to end like this.

"Umi... I want to make you feel good too." I blushed at my statement but I'm sure my eyes were determined more than ever.  
"You sure you can still do it?" Umi asked in hesitation. I gave her a firm nod and engulfed her in my embrace. Our chests pressed into each other. The saliva that covered them made it slippery which caused us to feel more aroused.

"Okay. If you really want it." Umi stated before racing my leg into a position were it was possible to let our nether regions touch each other.  
Our hips danced into a rhythm. Swaying into a music that only the two of us understood. Feeling a heat that could only exist between the two of us. We shared passionate kisses and embraces. Our voices blended with each other that only the two of us have heard before.

"Umi! Mnnnhh!"  
"Eri! Haah!"

Sharing an embrace, I could feel the exhaustion overcoming my senses. I was about to take a rest when Umi suddenly struck a conversation.  
"We should probably move to the bedroom before you fall asleep." Umi suggested as she moved a strand of hair from my face. I was feeling so tired that I just replied with something incoherent. I was about to lose consciousness when she said something that sent a chill down my spine.

"Do you... Do you regret anything? Do you regret loving me?" She asked in a soft tone that I almost didn't catch her question.

I was in a stupor for a few minutes. I was surprised and confused as to why she would suddenly ask that. My forehead had creased and my mouth was hanging open. An image of Umi holding a picture frame came into my mind. I recalled Umi looking through our album filled with pictures back when we were still in µ's. I shook my head to erase those thoughts and hugged Umi tighter.

"Wh-Wh... No, I don't. I love you. Didn't I tell you I won't regret anything when it comes to you?" I tried to give her a peck on the lips. I was feeling a bit groggy so I kissed her nose instead. Umi chuckled at this.

"What are you doing?" She asked. She was grinning at me and I knew that she was making fun of me. But I still answered her question.  
"I'm just feeling a bit too tired." I muttered before nuzzling into Umi's bosom.

"It's your fault." Umi chuckled and stated this with humor. Her warmth was making me more sleepy. Clinging more into her embrace, the darkness was slowly closing in. My consciousness slowly ebbing away.

Before I continued on to dreamland, I felt Umi giving my forehead a peck and whispered, "Sorry... I love you too."

* * *

"Any regrets?" '_I don't regret anything! Enough!_'

* * *

People looked up to me as someone who knows everything there is, but the truth is, I'm not. I was always naive about life. I needed someone to guide me. I could never survive alone. I'm imperfect and I always make mistakes. Even though I always did careless mistakes, my friends never abandoned me.

I thought that everything would stay forever as it should have been. I thought that all my mistakes could be forgiven. I thought lots of things and believed that they hold truth. Apparently, I was mistaken. I made the greatest mistake that destroyed everything. I mistook our closeness as a feeling of love.

I have always been dependent on her. Whenever I needed something, she was always beside me and the other way around. I have always admired her for being strong. I also thought that it was amazing that we were so alike.

So when she confessed to me on that day, I immediately answered her without any hesitations. I thought that being friends and being lovers weren't that different at all. It was just that you prioritize them more than others. I was so wrong.

I could handle holding her hands, accepting her embrace and embracing her on my own, but it was a different story whenever she tried to kiss me. It didn't feel right that I always tried to avoid it. I couldn't understand why but it irked me to no end. It felt uncomfortable having her face close to mine.

"It's okay. Maybe you're just not ready yet, Erichi." She forgave me and gave me a pat on the head. She easily forgives me but I could see through her heartbroken smile. I'm sending her mixed signals. I was so frustrated with myself. I couldn't understand. It wasn't that I felt disgusted, but it just doesn't feel right...

'_Why is it so different from being friends? Why does it have to be so painful and confusing? Couldn't we go back to being friends?_' I wanted to ask her but I was afraid. I was scared that she would no longer forgive me, that it would never go back to what it was before. I just let it go on...

I never believed in love at first sight before...

And then, I met her. I thought something was strange with this girl when I first encountered her. She was one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen. Her luscious blue hair and amber eyes made her stand out, with the help of her equally attractive friends. She was peculiar and interesting. Whenever the students gathered inside the auditorium, she always caught my eye. She was shining brightly out of all the others, like a gem in a stack full of rocks.

A year had passed with my romantic relationship having no progress at all. She had stopped trying on kissing me. I guess she thought it wouldn't bear any fruit no matter how hard she tried. I still didn't give up on trying to please her. I tried practicing but when it came to the real thing, I would always lose my courage. I was a coward... I am a coward.

The school suddenly being at stake took a toll on our relationship. I could no longer concentrate on her alone. I needed to save the school, whatever it takes. She somehow knew that I needed space so she told me that we needed time off. Even though our relationship wasn't working out well, she still helped me through. I was so concentrated on what to do that I was surprised to see that girl again.

I confronted the chairwoman's daughter to seek some information. I was shocked when I saw her sitting on the same bench. I tried to overcome my shock and proceeded on my original goal. I was nervous. I didn't understand why but I felt a weird attraction. I couldn't think straight and had blurted out what ever came to mind.

"Erichi, you were too harsh on those kids." My girlfriend stated. We might have decided to take some time off but we still have our relationship.  
"I know... I just couldn't think straight." I confessed as I rubbed my temples. She chuckled and gave me a pat.  
"Don't get too stressed up or you'll make me worry." She scolded me. I felt guilty. I didn't know why but I felt bad.  
"Sorry." I muttered. Hidden in that apology was another guilt.

I watched them perform. They were shining brightly─ freely doing what their hearts desire. Even if none of their hard work bore any fruit, they still didn't give up and gave it their best for the few audience they had. Even though I played the bad guy, I wanted to know what they planned to do next. They still haven't given up. I wanted to be like them─ free from any shackles or cages.

With their strength and determination inspiring me, I edited the video just to present it nicely. My sister had first requested for a video but I became determined to help. Arisa immediately wanted a copy so I gave her one of the raw videos.

Even if they were still new, my sister had known about them when I brought home a copy of their flyer. She was curious and wouldn't stop asking questions. I told her about everything I knew. While I was telling her stuff, she suddenly asked me if I liked the blue-haired beauty. I was surprised as to why she thought so. She told me I kept mentioning her, "Umi this, Umi that."

Of course I denied such accusation. I was in a relationship and it would be vulgar to look at another person... '_Was I that obvious?_'

I didn't know how many times they had surprised me but this one really left me nervous. I absentmindedly called out to my sister when I was near the gates. I knew she was waiting for me there like usual. I felt like a bucket full of cold water was dumped on me when I saw her standing beside my sister. Sonoda Umi.

I couldn't tell her the truth, thinking people might misinterpret like how Arisa did. I wanted to stay at a safe distance from her so I played the bad guy role again. I told her they were amateurs and they would always be one. I know that their dancing lacked impact but they could still shine like beautiful gemstones. She looked hurt. I wanted to hug her and tell her it wasn't true, that it was all a lie I made up, that they were beautiful and that I loved her, but I can't─ I couldn't.

I was surprised when they asked me to teach them. I looked at Umi and saw the sincerity in her eyes. I wanted to play the bad guy but I could no longer reject them. I tried to stick on being harsh. I wanted them to give up on me but instead, they thanked me. I was confused. My heart was slowly swaying. I tried peeking on their activities again and then leave them hanging, but I was caught. They were shaking my shackles. They freed me from my cage.

My girlfriend asked me what I wanted to do. I could only tell her that I was awkward and that it was too late. I couldn't be truly honest with her. I was scared of losing any of them and my indecisiveness led us astray. I was scared of what might happen if she were to know my true feelings.

On that fated day during our summer trip, I couldn't contain my feelings. Being led by my feelings, I confessed to Umi and stole a kiss. She was shocked but she didn't run away. I thought she was going to reject me, but I was wrong. She accepted me. She told me that she also felt the same and had been for a long time. Apparently, we both fell in love with each other at first sight. She completed my existence.

That day, I forgot all about my fears as we consummated in our love and passion. I knew it was wrong for me to do so, but it felt so right to be with her... Like we were destined to be together.

When we came back, we were holding each other's hand. We confronted everyone and like I had expected, it didn't end well. Nozomi ran into one of the rooms and refused to open the door or talk to anyone. Honoka was infuriated. Apparently, the three of them had promised to stay together forever and she thought our relationship would take Umi away from them.

"You're cruel! Using me like that... I will never forgive you."

It ended up with them making us decide. Almost everyone was against our relationship. It was them or her. I didn't think twice and left with Umi by my side.

* * *

When I came to, I was laying down our bed. My naked body covered by a blanket. I looked around but Umi wasn't in sight.  
'_She must be preparing food._' I thought as I noticed that it was already morning and the sun was shining brightly.

When I opened our closet, I immediately noticed that something was amiss. The clothes in it looked too few. I checked through them and noticed that all the articles left were mine. I checked my surroundings and noticed a note on the bedside table. I ran to it and read its contents with great haste.

"_To my beloved Eri, __I am sorry that I had to leave without saying goodbye, because I'm sure I won't be able to leave with you knowing. I hope you don't get too angry at me. I am only doing this for your sake. I don't want to bring you down or stop you from doing what you want. Thank you for being there for me and fighting for me. I will always remember you. I will always love you. With this, I am setting you free. Love, Umi_"

"Don't joke with me! What's with this shit?!" I was confused. I ran into our living room expecting her to pop out and tell me it was just a bad joke but she wasn't there. My heart was pounding so loud that I thought I was going to be deaf after this. I felt like crying and shouting. I wanted to throw a tantrum. I didn't know what to do... I wouldn't be able to survive without her. I was about to lose to insanity when my phone suddenly rang.

Hoping it was Umi, I immediately reached for my phone. I felt myself tear up when I found out it wasn't her. I wanted to throw my phone away but I still answered the call anyway.

"Hello, Eri?" The voice called out.  
"M-Maki... I need your help." I pleaded in desperation. My heart was throbbing in pain─ a feeling that I thought I wouldn't feel ever again.

* * *

"Wh-What happened?! You look like a wreck." Maki asked as she saw me. Maki immediately came when I called her. I wasn't surprised that she knew where we lived. Knowing about Nico's stalking abilities, she must have learned a thing or two from her.

"Sh-She left me. I-I d-don't know what to do." I muttered in panic. I was trying stop my tears because almost everything I said became incoherent, but my heart ached so much. I was frustrated that I didn't know what to do. I didn't even have a single clue where she was.

"C-Calm down." Maki told me as she looked at her phone which vibrated.  
"Let's go to the airport." Maki suddenly suggested while sporting a determined look.

At the airport, like a jewel out of a bunch of rocks, she immediately caught my attention.  
"Umi!" I exclaimed with no regards of whether I catch the attention of others. I engulfed her in my embrace and I was crying hard. I thought I lost her forever.

"Eri..." Umi muttered. She was obviously shocked by my appearance.  
"W-Why did you leave?" I asked her. My heart was beating loudly that it was probably audible to the other people. I tightly gripped her arm, afraid that she would run away from me if I didn't.

"W-Why are you here? Why did you go after me? I was setting you free." I don't know what made her think this way but I tightly hugged her.  
"Why would you think that going away was a good thing?! I won't be able to live without you!" I was determined to get through her. To make her understand.  
"B-But you hesitated." She stated with her eyebrows creased in confusion. I was confused at her statement. I didn't understand what she meant.

"You hesitated when I asked you if you regretted loving me and I-I thought that I was forcing this relationship upon you." Umi started tearing up when she was explaining everything further to me. I finally realized what she meant and chuckled at the bizarre turn of events.  
"E-Eri?" I probably looked crazy in front of everyone, suddenly finding humor in this situation.

I held Umi tighter in my arms. Breathing in the relaxing scent of Umi and having her here in my arms finally made my heart calm down. She must be confused as to what was happening but she still nuzzled further on the juncture on the base of my neck.

"I never did and never will regret loving you, Umi. How could you even think that leaving my side would help me..." I stated without hesitation.  
"T-Then why did you hesitate?" Umi's voice was muffled since she was still in my embrace.

"It's true that I have regrets, but it wasn't you. I regret that I didn't try to fix everything and left everyone hanging. I wanted to fix everything but none of that would matter if you aren't here by my side." I told her in all honesty. With that, I gave her a soft kiss.

* * *

"How did Nico-chan know where Umi would be? I didn't know you were this concerned for them. You even refused on going with me when I was about to go here." Maki curiously asked her girlfriend. We were surprised to find out that it was Nico who stopped Umi from boarding her flight which made the latter be left behind. It was also Nico who told Maki to go to the airport.

"W-Well, you guys are so predictable so I knew Umi wouldn't leave the place immediately. She probably visited a special place here in this island that you guys share since this was also where our summer trip happened back then." Nico tried to hide her blush.

"Thanks, Nico. Thanks for caring." I gave Nico my thanks and hugged her.

Cough. Cough. We both looked back at our girlfriends whose foreheads were creased in jealousy. Nico and I both chuckled at their childishness and hugged them.

"I hope that one day everyone would be able to forgive us like you guys did." I couldn't help but hope for their acceptance.  
"Don't worry, I'm sure some of them already did and some would learn to forgive you guys." Maki smiled at us.

* * *

**What Eri wrote in her diary in the end of that chapter broke my heart a little. "She returned to Honoka's side and I have returned to Nozomi's."**

**It felt like they have something between them that couldn't be, because they already have Nozomi and Honoka... OmQ...**

**And for their duet, it's like something they were supposed to do one time... but fell in love and didn't want to let go of each other. A supposed to be fling that blossomed. A story of their own, a love that they could not let go and wanting that moment to never end.**

**Sheep! That EriUmi duet! That hidden porn of a song xD The EriUmi duet is just so... so *contented sigh*~  
Goodbye Flower Garden. Hello~ Destiny! I'm going to start calling this pair as Destiny OwO**


	2. Chapter 2: My Wish

**A/N: ****Wrote this one to celebrate this fic's first anniversary, though I'm releasing it a bit late.**

**I really like how Nozomi's name could be translated as 'wish'.  
****This chapter isn't filled with EriUmi like some of you might have hoped but I still hope you guys would like this.**

**Some info to take note before reading:  
Daylily - Wild Flower  
Calla - Flower of Elegance  
Anemone - Wind Flower**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Love Live! Franchise or any of its characters.**

* * *

**My Wish**

* * *

Letters surfaced on the paper as lithe fingers gracefully swept across. On the paper was three sentences that held a long story within.

* * *

_I have long forgiven you._  
_I'm sorry._

_My only wish is for everyone to come home._

* * *

As the letter was folded and kept in an envelope─ addressed to no one. A deep sigh escaped from the lips of the author as a tear rolled on her cheek.

* * *

'_I'm so selfish..._'

Even though I understood how naïve you were at life, I took advantage of it. I confessed my affection for you, knowing that you'd accept me. You were actually such a dependent person that someone had to watch over you. I knew what my purpose was in your life. I was supposed guide you to the right path, but all I did was pull you further away. I was afraid that the person you were supposed to fall for couldn't accept the imperfect you.

I flipped the cards and saw that devastating result. I repeatedly shuffled them, but the result was always the same. I sighed in melancholy─ frustrated by the result.  
"Is something bothering you?" You were suddenly right beside me with concern written all over your face. I smiled and lied to you.

"I'm just a little tired." You naively trusted every word I said. You suggested that we take the rest of the day off. I knew you were lying, though. I knew that you were going to come back and finish the work once I get home safely. I grimaced at you.

"Okay, okay. I won't come back to finish the work." You blurted out. I nodded and started packing our stuff.

'_Stop being so kind to me..._'

My affections for you grew stronger as days passed by. Your kindness enveloped me─ drowning me deeper into this abyss known as love. I wanted to keep you for myself but I knew that I needed to stay within my boundaries. I've already decided that I would be happy for you once that day comes. I already understood what would be the end of our relationship since the day I made that divination.

It wasn't fate and what you felt for me wasn't the love I've longed for. I just had to make the best out of our situation.

You're so adorable, especially when we do something intimate. You awkwardly held my hand and went all stiff when I embraced you. I wanted to appreciate what we had. I felt overwhelmed with my own feelings─ wanting to have you all to myself. I kept the cards hidden away from plain sight. I didn't want to be reminded of what awaited for us.

I was slowly forgetting what fate had decided for us, but you kept snapping me back to reality─ rejecting and creating a wall in between us. Deep down inside, your own body was rejecting me. You were afraid of stepping out of bounds─ afraid of doing anything that close friends wouldn't do.

Even though your unconscious rejection hurt, I tried forgetting the pain until I became numb. I smiled at you, saying it was okay even though it wasn't. I could feel your frustration because you were making it feel so awkward between us. I'm sorry. I was tricking you and myself in this relationship that wasn't meant to be. I'm so sorry.

* * *

Writing out all my agitation and longing for you on those flimsy pieces of papers temporarily helped ease the pain. I wrote numerous letters, all addressed to no one, and hid them inside an empty post box behind the shrine, hoping that my wishes would come true.

* * *

I knew that your mind was in a mess. You were confused as to why our relationship seem so different from just being friends. I knew you wanted to ask me but I acted ignorant of what was boggling you.

I was scared that once you finally understood what was wrong with our relationship, that what you felt for me wasn't really love, you'd break free from me. I was afraid of staying as friends with you because what I felt for you was more than that. I wanted you for myself.

I knew that you wouldn't have any idea what path you should take if I went away. I knew that you were afraid of losing me─ of hurting me. I took advantage of that vulnerability of yours and let this delusion go on between us. I knew it was selfish of me to hold on to you, but my emotions got the better of me.

_'I'm really sorry.'_

* * *

It was another year for me and you. It's been so long since I've touched the cards. I felt that I had to. So once again, I decided to make another divination─ hoping that we would finally have a happy ending. I dug it up from the depths of my treasures and spread the cards in front of me.

_'No, no, no! God, have mercy. Please don't do this. I'm so sorry...'_

It hasn't changed. Actually, it became worse. The gears were finally moving. Our time was slowly slipping away like grains of sand. Fate was slowly bringing you two together and what awaited for you and me was death.

* * *

As you made your speech during the student's entrance ceremony, you suddenly had that gaze─ that gaze that I've been longing for for a very long time. I wanted you to look at me like that. I glanced at your line of sight. In the garden of freshmen, three stood out─ a daylily, a calla and an anemone.

As I watched your expression change, with your cheeks turning into a shade of red darker than usual, I felt dread creep upon me. You finally found that destined someone, but all I could feel was sadness. I couldn't feel happy for your sake. I knew that our time... my time with you was slowly ticking away.

* * *

I could no longer recall how many letters I wrote and hid into that abandoned post box. The hollowness it once had was no longer present, like how I felt whenever I was with you. But unlike the post box that slowly filled up with my letters, the fulfillment I felt ebbed away.

* * *

Our relationship made no progress at all. I've stopped trying to kiss you because I was afraid that you might suddenly feel disgusted and leave me. I knew that if I were to force myself on you, our relationship would come to an end.

I was afraid of losing you. I wanted you to stay by my side. I wanted you all to myself. I was a coward... I am a coward.

* * *

Living in fear, I couldn't help but feel insecure at her. That girl named Sonoda Umi, the archery club's star athlete, had a very focused pair of eyes. She's so similar to you from your grace to your responsible and hardworking attitude.

* * *

_'What do I have to change for you to like me instead?'_

* * *

The board had decided upon the closure of your grandmother's beloved alma mater and I knew you wouldn't keep quiet about it. I saw this as a chance to become the good friend that I should've always been. I gave you the space that you needed. A time off from our relationship was something we both needed. You could use a helping hand without having another problem to think about.

I was supposed to finally let you go but my emotions got the better of me again. A time off was what I gave you when deep down inside, I knew what you truly needed was freedom from the shackles I created.

I started relying on my cards again─ slowly recovering my faith. Every time I made a divination about us, I knew that the time where I needed to set you free was approaching fast.

* * *

_No matter how bleak the future may seem, no matter how much the world is against it— always fight for the one you love._

I decided on what path I would take and inserted this simple passage into the box that held all of feelings during the years I've been with you as some sort of declaration. It felt like I was declaring a war with the gods who look over our fate inside that small box, hidden in the depths of the shrine's protection.

* * *

You decided on confronting the chairwoman's daughter. Upon reaching the courtyard, I noticed that the chairwoman's daughter was with her friends─ with Umi. I had the feeling that she would be there. Fate was slowly pushing you two together.

I noticed your surprise as you stared at them. Your cheeks slightly flushed. You should've known that she would be there but your face said otherwise. Your confusion was surfacing. Your brows slowly creased and you started fidgeting as we approached them. But when we were finally in front of them, your nervousness abruptly went away.

You held a cold gaze while you confronted them. Your strong demeanor never faltered and brashly put them aside. Your eyes, the window to your soul, looked empty... just like how they were whenever you told me that you love me.

* * *

"Erichi, you were too harsh on those kids." I stated. You were clearly stressed out about everything that's been happening around you. I let out an empty chuckle and gave you a pat while you rubbed your temples.

"Don't get too stressed up or you'll make me worry." I scolded her. I felt guilty knowing that I'm one of the reasons why you're so troubled right now. You muttered an apology, unintentionally making the guilt heavier.

* * *

When they confronted us about making a club, you tried your best to dismiss their efforts and make yourself look like the bad guy. I knew that you wanted to help but doing so would make you spend a lot of time around them─ that you would regret your decision someday.

"You just need two more people."

I may regret helping them in your stead, but it would be better than letting you regret it later.

* * *

I knew you were somewhere in this auditorium. You wouldn't miss out on their performance. We both watched them perform for the few audience they had.

They were shining brightly─ freely doing what their hearts desired. Even if none of their hard work bore any fruit─ even if it was all for naught, they still didn't give up and gave it their best like it was their last performance. I wanted to be like them─ free from any shackles or cages.

* * *

I was tired of this pretentious game that I kept holding on to. I felt tired of holding you back. I was tired of holding on. I felt so tired of everything but a part of me just couldn't let go. I was afraid... I was afraid of being alone again, and that part of me won over. I wrote another letter to ease the guilt that was hard to swallow.

_It may seem selfish, but always pursue the love you feel inside. Love will always find a way. Even if what awaits is the bitter end, it's important to take the chance or you might regret it forever._

* * *

Days went by as Erichi's agitation to break free became more apparent.

She started off with sharing a video of µ's' performance that day. I tried to confront her. I wanted to tell her that it was okay for her to help. Afraid that her true feelings would come to light, she denied helping them. Instead, she brushed it off, saying that she wanted to make them see that their efforts won't come into fruition.

If her intentions were truly ill, she would've uploaded a raw video without giving an effort on editing the footage.

* * *

She kept playing the bad guy even if her secret had been laid bare in front of Umi... of all people. I watched as she painfully struggled from the chains I've created.

I knew that she wanted to be faithful. The importance of our bond weighed heavy on her shoulders. The desire to protect what we had and to maintain the connection between us made Erichi afraid to break free. My existence brought comfort to this being of solitude and I used it to my own advantage.

I selfishly held on to her, making her rely on me more on more until she won't be able to leave me. I knew that this would eventually bring me misfortune, but I could only look at what was in front of me and what I desired at the moment.

* * *

To create a distance, Erichi was able to intimidate everyone besides one brave soul── Umi. Umi wanted to prove herself and their group's ability to Erichi. It didn't matter if they received recognition from everyone else, she wanted Erichi to accept their group.

They didn't really need to prove themselves. Erichi already knew the talent that everyone had inside. I knew that with Erichi's help, everyone would be able to shine with their individual talents and strong passion, capturing the hearts of the audiences.

"Erichi, do this as a favor for me." I pleaded to her. I didn't want to jeopardize the chance to save our alma mater because of my selfishness. Torn between my duty and my wish as a maiden in love, I could only pray for a happy ending.

* * *

Erichi's bond with the rest of µ's members strengthened as days passed by. Even though everyone was afraid at first, they were able to slowly warm up to Erichi.

* * *

"What do you want to do?" I asked her. Her confession broke me. It felt like my face was splashed with cold water. The guilt I felt left me immobile. I felt a light touch on my shoulder, the genuine expression you all showed me broke me into tears. I could only ask for everyone's help.

* * *

Everyone was etching their way into each other's heart but you could see the difference in the bond between Erichi's and Umi's. My fear was slowly coming into a reality. Umi was finally catching up to the relationship I've built for years.

The tension was building up so much between them that the others could notice how different they act around each other. I knew that Erichi was at her limit but I didn't stop her from going astray on that fateful day. I already felt it deep inside my heart that it was the time to let you go.

_'It hurts.'_ I thought as I keenly observed Erichi's and Umi's appearance. Both of them had returned with disheveled clothes and tangled hair. One could tell that they had engaged into some sort of wild activity. The way Erichi held Umi's hand was a stab to my heart.

_'You never held my hand like that. You never looked at me like how you looked at her.'_ I could only grimace as I try to hold onto my composure.

Kotori, being one of the most purehearted members of the group, started searching for scratches or injuries, thinking that the pair got caught in some sort of accident. Nico frowned at their appearance, having an idea of what had conspired between them. Thankfully, the freshmen were already asleep in their own rooms.

"Umi-chan! Eri-chan! Where have you two been?! We were worried!" Honoka's loud voice could probably wake up the whole neighborhood. Thinking of the sleeping juniors, I tapped her shoulder and gestured that she should lower her voice.

I grabbed Erichi's wrist so we could talk privately, but she stood still and kept holding onto Umi.

"I'm sorry." That phrase shook my being. Even if I knew that something like this was bound to happen, even if I had prepared myself for something like this, I didn't know that it would hurt this much. I didn't know that anger would well up inside me, and that you would be able to hurt me this much.

I could only run away from all this pain.

* * *

Apparently, Honoka-chan was infuriated by what happened. She took my side, along with Kotori-chan. The first years had no idea what was going on but decided not to butt in the issue and keep quiet until anyone was ready to talk about it. Nicocchi frowned upon the two when she found out the whole situation we were in. The whole flight back home was so silent that you would be able to cut a knife through it.

* * *

When we got back home, Honoka-chan was the one who told the story but with her by my side, she left no detail for the others to pity on the two.

"Whatever the reason, the cheater is always the villain." Honoka-chan ended her story with that phrase.

Hanayo-chan and Rin-chan chose to butt out of everything. Being the naïve kids they are, they couldn't have the will to despise them, but they also couldn't sympathize or console them from being cast out, fearing that they would also end up in the same situation.

Maki-chan confronted Nicocchi, knowing that the girl was a person who wouldn't easily judge others. Nicocchi was known for being one of the most level-headed person when needed despite the stature she has. The only thing that was stopping the two from confronting Erichi and Umi was how important µ's was for the both of them. Butting in would leave no chance for redemption.

* * *

_When will I be released from all this pain? Do the gods find it fun to play with people's hearts? I wonder if it is less painful if my life would end here..._

* * *

Graduation drew near and the only ally Erichi and Umi had was each other. Everyone slowly neglected the club until Maki-chan and Nicocchi was left of it.

It still hurts whenever I see the two of them together, so I try to avoid them as much as possible. I could only curse at the gods for giving us such a cruel fate and why they let me fall for someone unattainable.

* * *

When graduation came, our world fell apart.

* * *

Erichi wanted to escape the situation they were in. She decided to move far away. Fearing that Umi would be subjected to all of it alone with no one to protect her, she brought Umi with her and disappeared like thin air.

Their existences faded away like mermaids that turned into bubbles.

* * *

_'This wasn't what I wanted. Why did you have to disappear on us?'_ The frustration I felt because nothing went my way was eating me. I wanted everything to end, so I tried committing suicide.

I watched as my blood slowly flowed out of my arms. It was painful but it was nothing compared to what I felt inside. I smiled, knowing that it will finally be over.

Her smile and worried eyes suddenly flashed in front of me. An urge to see her again hit me. I regretted that it had to end this way.  
_'If I die now, I won't be able to see her again.'_ Panic ate me inside but my strength was nowhere to be found. I could only tear up in desperation.

"Erichi..." My voice was already hoarse from all the stress, pain and fatigue. Whispering my goodbyes, a blur of black and red whizzed through my vision before blacking out.

* * *

If it weren't for Nicocchi worrying and Maki-chan's skills, I would've been long gone.

I made a promise to everyone that I would no longer take my life. I wished to start anew. I slowly took steps forward even if the pain was still there. Hopefully, it would be gone someday.

* * *

Years went by and the pain surely receded. My only wish was for them to come home and that their love was a fruitful one. I wish that all the pain and suffering everyone went through made them stronger. I want to watch the two of you grow. I want to see you both.

I could feel the crispy air on my skin as I went up the stairs leading to that shrine. Holding onto a frail envelope holding my wish, I rushed to that postbox that held all the memories we went through. The postbox was no longer hollow and filled with everything. I placed my letter on top, leaving my last letter.

The feelings I had before will forever be treasured in my heart. I know that there must be a reason why we all met, and I'll keep watching over the two of you.

I clapped my hands to say a prayer to the gods hoping that they would listen and grant my simple wish. I turned around to leave when a crunch on the pure white snow stopped me dead in my tracks.

_'It's only been a few years but it felt like a really long time.' _I could only think as tears flowed freely.

"Nozomi."

* * *

**A/N: Thank you for the favorites, follows (even though this story was already complete) and reviews since I've already replied to the other reviewers, I'll just write my reply to those whom I couldn't.**

**polar bear: Were you ready for this type of heartbreak? Hope you still like this even if it wasn't concentrated on the shipping part.**

**Elliot c: Sorry if there isn't enough EriUmi in here too but I hope you like this.**

**Guest: Uhm... thanks? Glad you liked it. Hope you also appreciate this one even if the content isn't similar to the first chapter.**


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